Recognizing and Overcoming Fear

December 17, 2008 by jalvilhiera.

In turbulent times like today we all respond to our changing situation with a certain amount of fear. Is this a bad thing? It certainly can be but it can also be helpful.
There is a basic formula that I and many other coaches use to demonstrate the impact of fear in a way that most people can relate well to. It is this:

T + F - A/IA = R

Thoughts plus Feelings Lead To Action or Inaction which equals Your Results

The gap between feelings and action or inaction is the fear gap. Recognizing this gap and using your own personal techniques to overcome it becomes the critical step in creating the results you desire.

The first step in harnessing fear as a positive force is recognizing that you are afraid. This can be a difficult task for many of us since we are conditioned by society to hide fear. We often develop very strong negative feelings around fear because of this. We mistakenly believe that if we allow ourselves to feel fear that we are weak or inferior to others. In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth. The truly courageous person is the one who can feel their fear, fully acknowledge its presence and take positive action in spite of being afraid. The renowned military commander Napolean Bonaparte I think said it best “He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.” Unchecked fear leads to irrational actions or potentially worse, no action at all.

Paralysis or unconscious inaction so often accompanies unacknowledged fear. When we can not deal with the fearful feelings raised by our thoughts the fear gap grows. It is surprising how in a very short time the gap can seem insurmountable as your mind, operating in a state of unacknowledged fear, manufactures every conceivable reason why you can’t achieve a positive result. While you spend your time worrying, analyzing, pondering or discussing all the possible ramifications of each of the possibilities your mind has created, the opportunity for decisive action passes you by. While you have convinced yourself that you were taking positive steps by doing something (e.g. thinking, talking, and all the other ing words that describe pseudo action) what you are in reality doing is avoiding making any decision at all. I know that you have seen this scenario played out in your company and if you think hard enough you will find times when you have done it yourself. So the first step on the path to overcoming fear has been achieved. You recognize the pattern and now have it locked in your awareness so you can spot the behavior the next time you see or experience it.

So what do you do now? You are confronted with a situation and have recognized that you are afraid. You have acknowledged it but what do you do now to break its paralyzing grip. The most simple and also the most difficult solution is to face the fear head on. To do this we have to realize what is at the root of our fear….the unknown. We instinctively fear what we do not know. Once we understand it is truly only the unknown that is causing our fear we can take calculated steps to assuage our fear through knowing. I am not talking about predicting the future. Of course we can never truly know that the course of action we choose will have exactly our intended result. What I am talking about is this – if you’re afraid of the dark, turn on a light. You can learn enough about the situation to make a good decision, ask for help from people you trust, make something else more important than your fear or any other technique that has helped you break the grip of fear in the past. Yes you have done this at least once in your life even if you don’t remember it right now. Drawing on the strength you created in yourself during that previous crisis is probably most effective technique to help you through this troubling time. To help you identify your own experiences to draw on I’ll give you an experience from my life that I continue to draw on to this day.

When I was 17 I joined the Army. I was young, idealistic, and patriotic. I wanted more than anything to become an elite soldier for my country. I was given the opportunity to become a paratrooper. That is the first step in becoming a truly elite soldier. Without a moments hesitation I volunteered. The weeks of ground training were hard but I loved the challenge of it. Finally the day came to make my first jump. I was chuted up and loaded onto a plane with 120 of my classmates. False bravado and sheer naiveté was perceptible on everyone’s face. Some showed early signs of fear….sweating, nervous movement but the overall feeling seemed to be one of resolve. I was nervous but feeling confident all through our equipment checks. Then the moment came. The green light went on and I saw the first of my classmates hurl himself into space. My turn was coming. As I moved closer and closer to the door my confidence was fading. The noise from the wind howling at the door was deafening. All of a sudden I began to notice the exhaust of the aircraft engines inside the plane making my stomach sick. I could see the wide terrified eyes on the soldiers across from me as they neared the other paratroop door. My mind was racing. I questioned everything. Why was I doing this? Why was I risking my life? This is crazy. Normal people don’t do this. I couldn’t quiet my mind. Finally my turn in the door arrived. I stood on a small platform 1200 feet above the earth. The wind hitting my face at 130 knots as the plan flew over the drop zone. I had a second, no more than 2, to decide the future of my military career. I had to make a split second decision. What was more important to me….the relative safety of choosing not to jump and the end of my military career or taking the risk to become and elite soldier? In that moment it became clear that my ambition to become an elite soldier was more important to me than my fear and I through myself into the air.

I have used the feelings from this event countless times during my life when I encountered fear and self doubt. It has never failed to help me gain clarity and take action. Now when I feel fear its actually a bit comforting. It heightens my awareness and sharpens my focus. I use the power of the fear now to move forward instead of using it to avoid action. You can harness the productive force of fear as well.

As Don Miguel Ruiz, the Author of The Four Agreements, says:
“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »